My husband has been itching for another baby since Connor was 2 days old. Of course, he wasn't the one who was up every 45 minutes breastfeeding for the first 2 months straight, so to him, parenting was a breeze. :)
I wasn't opposed to adding to our family, but a series of events sure seems to have stopped us dead in our tracks. The biggest (and obviously most important) is the fact that we don't have health insurance that covers maternity. We have to pay for our own insurance, and when you're buying as an individual, your options are pretty much limited. The only insurance company that offers maternity to individuals is Highmark. Well, Highmark won't insure me because they claim my allergies----for which I take no prescription medications and receive no treatment that is charged to them----is too expensive to cover. But that's a rant for another time. So we have one of those bare minimum plans that really covers nothing. That includes having a baby.
For awhile, my husband was of the thinking that we'd just pay for it out of pocket. When I showed him statistics that the average pregnancy, including prenatal care and delivery, costs over $20,000, he almost had a stroke. And that $20,000 is for an unmedicated, uncomplicated pregnancy. If I needed any intervention, such as a C-section, it would cost a whole lot more. So he gave up that idea pretty quickly.
Me, I see all of this as God leading me toward an option I've been thinking about for a long time, and that's adoption. A close friend of mine adopted her daughter, and they have a great relationship. She gave a child a home, and she has the love of that child in return. The thought that this isn't her biological child has never once stopped her from treating her daughter like her own. I watch those "adoption of the week" segments on KDKA news every week and my heart aches for those kids, some of them as old as 16, who have never had a family of their own and have been shuffled from one foster home to another. I know that I want to provide a home for a child like that, because I have room in both my heart and my home for it. I realize not everyone can love an adopted child the way they would a biological child, but I am not one of those people. I have talked to my husband about all of this, and I think he's starting to realize just how serious I am. Maybe, God willing, he will be led in the same direction.
3 comments:
Hey Shari,
This may sound like a really "out there" idea, but have you ever considered hiring a midwife and planning a homebirth? My husband and I are planning a homebirth and our midwife is charging is only $2,000 for all the prenatal and postnatal care, as well as everything for the birth. I'm not sure how much midwives in your area generally charge, but it's almost certainly MUCH less than you would be paying for a hospital birth. If you have a healthy pregnancy, a planned, assisted homebirth would be very safe. If you're at all interested in a homebirth, I would recommend a documentary called The Business of Being Born. Just maybe something to consider!
Katherine, you're idea isn't out there at all. But I'll be 35 in two weeks, and quite frankly, I had complications with my son's birth, so I would not be comfortable doing a home birth because the potential for problems is there. I would worry something would go wrong. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you're 35 or older, most midwives won't agree to do it because of the increased risk. But it is an interesting thought for others who might be reading this post! :)
I am totally excited about the idea of you adopting! Keep us posted!
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